Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
