Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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