i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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