he puts the penis in happiness.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
