Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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