sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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