I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
