I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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