I'm really into asian looking animals
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
