Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
