When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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