Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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