so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
