East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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