very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize