He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize