Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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