...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
