Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't like sucking hair
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
