he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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