Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
