after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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