Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
