I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
