At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Your tits are I can't wait for
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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