I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
