What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
