he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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