Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
