God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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