you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
