My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
