I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
