did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
