Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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