How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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