I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
