I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
