I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
