she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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