All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize