Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
