Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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