lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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