Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
