Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
