but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Randomize
