Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
