then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
false alarm. still invincible.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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