PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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