you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
