omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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