Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
