he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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