I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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