your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
