East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
