Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
