You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
