at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
