How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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