The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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