she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
