it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize