i think my tv is drunk
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
