fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
