North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
