He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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