Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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