Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
