but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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