The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
