Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize