I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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