covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize