there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
