I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
