Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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