Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
