I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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