so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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