We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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